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31 May 2009 @ 11:26 pm
I do not have the H1N1 virus [swine flu]  
So I've been feeling like shit lately and last night a fever developed. I took Advil in hopes it would subside, but today it went up to 103 degrees. I had to be admitted to the ER because I was so fatigued and just in bad shape. Lots of things have been taking a toll on me emotionally and I just think I need a break from it all or just finally someone to tell me what is really in store. I'm literally falling apart.

While at the hospital I was checked for Swine Flu, Pneumonia and the good, ol' fashioned Lupus Flare. It was none of those. I just had a stress induced fatigue attack, as well as a virus that caused nasal bleeding and other awkward flu like symptoms. I was in the hospital for 5 hours. Now I am out. I still feel like shit, but my fever is down and I was prescribed various drugs. I guess all will be well.

I feel like I haven't sincerely smiled in a while. I've been none too happy. It doesn't help that I've been slowly falling apart, but I've also felt miserable. I just want to have someone make me smile and mean it. That's all. All the stresses of being ill, my family life, my relationship with Patrick has all taken a toll on me. I just want someone to tell me that I make them happy. That all my caring isn't in vein. I think I'm just depressed. After everything. even therapy. I just want someone to go out of their way and make me smile. make me happy.

one of these days.
 
 
Current Mood: sicksick
 
 
 
(Anonymous) on June 2nd, 2009 01:26 pm (UTC)
you can't depend on anyone to make you happy but yourself, especially not some cheating, two timing little boy. stop dwelling & start living. feel better.
lost_n_confuzed on June 2nd, 2009 01:47 pm (UTC)
I'm aware of this and I am happy with myself. Don't act like you know anything about me. yes I keep up with my livejournal but it's generally when im upset and just venting. don't you realize that people generally write when they are upset.

I appreciate the concern, but I don't appreciate the anonymous posts. if you want to be caring and share these words of wisdom, stop hiding who you are because your words will be null and void to me.