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01 October 2008 @ 04:44 pm
Together we Can't  
I won't let my heart be your rag doll anymore. That is just it. I need to do better in school. I need to take time off of my crazy life and focus in school. I'm not doing well at all I don't think.
Next semester I'm not doing nearly as much. I'll pitch my show. If it doesn't get in, I will be 100% okay with that. It will give me the opportunity to focus. If it does get in, I just won't do the 243235 things I'm doing.

I want to smile more often. I want to cry less. I want to laugh more often. I want to hurt less.
A part of me thinks I need to get out of this. The bigger part of me thinks that I shouldn't give up. I'm stuck it out this long. Is it even worth it anymore?
I wish he could prove these feelings wrong. I wish he could not be stubborn and see what he does or doesnt do. I'm not perfect I know. I should maybe stop pushing. But this is how it is going to go. I stop pushing. He will not try to make me happy or consider my feelings without me asking. I will remain miserable.

at the rate things are going, I won't be surprised if its over by Holiday break. It not what I want by a long shot, but my heart, my head, and my health cant handle it.
Current Mood: cynicalcynical